


Will Want Won't 2

by iamthececimonster



Series: The List [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Consent, Explicit Consent, F/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, like i didn't realize consent could be this explicit, sex binder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 15:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15665793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamthececimonster/pseuds/iamthececimonster
Summary: This is the alternate ending for the other story Will Want Won't. It's a lot sappier, a lot less smutty. Read that one for notes and such.





	Will Want Won't 2

Amy cleared the coffee table of the remnants of their dinner - Chinese take out - dropping the dirty dishes in the sink. Normally, she’d clean them right away, but she didn’t want to take the time. She had spent the entirety of dinner, while reruns of an old comedy played in the background, building up the courage to talk to Jake about her List. She tried to sneak behind the couch without him noticing, but his head turned, looking up at her from the floor.  
“Ames. Where ya going?”  
“Oh, I just have to grab something from my desk. Give me a second.”  
He nodded slightly, turning back to the game on his phone. She quickly walked to the desk in the corner of the room, grabbing the paper clipped papers, a pencil, a black marker, and a trio of highlighters. She breathed deeply out of her nose and went to join Jake on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table.  
Amy stood for a moment next to the sofa, staring the soft light of Jake’s phone screen illuminating his angular features. He was always so breathtaking. She felt her palms sweating, making the small stack of pages slightly limp with moisture. She shuffled, trying to dry her hands. Jake looked up from his phone again, and shifted slightly, as if to encourage her to sit down.  
“Is that work?” He raised an eyebrow, trying to remember if she had any paperwork she hadn’t finished before leaving the precinct.  
She started, as if out of a daze. “What?” She sat down, hard and ungraceful, clutching the pages. “Oh. Uh. No?”  
Jake’s eyebrow raised yet further up his forehead, the corner of one of his mouth quirking up. “So...what is it, Ames?”  
Amy felt her face flush, and she looked at the smooth surface of the coffee table. Jake put his hand gently on her leg, pressing just slightly with his fingertips.  
“You’ll laugh at me.” Amy muttered to the coffee table.  
“Amy.” Jake put his hand on her arm, tugging slightly. “Ames.” He moved closer to her when she refused to turn. “Amy, you’ve known me long enough to know that even if I laugh, it’s not serious. I support all your weird stuff, you support all my weird stuff. You bought orange soda for me,” he gestured to the glass still sitting on a coaster on the Amy’s coffee table. “I’m not gonna laugh at whatever nerdy project you’ve got going on now. Just tell me.” He pouted for good measure.  
Amy took a deep breath, and turned to face Jake. “So. You know I love lists and binders.” Jake nodded, his face serious. “And we’re going on this cruise soon.”  
“In a month, Ames, but yeah.”  
“Well. I like to be prepared, Jake.”  
“One of us should be, certainly.”  
Amy just rolled her eyes. “So, we’re really good at sex, right? Like, stupid good.”  
Jake’s eyes shot open, his jaw dropping slightly. “Uh. Uh, heck of a subject change, Ames.” He coughed once, and recovered quickly. “But hell yeah. We are. It’s kind of crazy how stupid good we are at it.”  
“Right. But, I want to….well, there are these lists, and… well, it’s maybe weird. But… uh…” Even after all of her preparing for this moment, Amy had no idea how to word what she was trying to say.  
“There are...lists, about sex?” Jake furrowed his brow.  
Amy just nodded, unsure of how to proceed. She held the papers out to him, the words WILL, WANT, WON’T in bold letters on the top of the top sheet. The top couple of pages were instructional. Then, her completed list, and then a blank one for Jake. He took them, scanning the top page with steadily widening eyes. He rifled through the rest of the pages.  
“So…” he spoke slowly, carefully. “You want me to fill this out?”  
Amy gulped slightly. “Uh, yeah. Well, the first list is mine. You can read that first, if you want. Or after, I guess. Up to you. But, basically, you fill it out, and then we can compare, and then we can like, idk, make a plan for stuff we want to try? Maybe we can try some of it while we’re on the cruise?”  
Jake’s eyebrows reached for the ceiling, and his mouth suddenly felt a little dry. He blinked and swallowed. “Uh, sure. Yeah, I can do that.” He paused. “Are you just...are you just gonna watch me fill this out?”  
“Oh! No! I was gonna go read or something. Work on the cruise itinerary.” She leaned back to stand up.  
“Oh, alright.” Jake suddenly felt relieved. “I guess I’ll let you know when I’m done?”  
Amy smiled, eyes bright and excited. “Thanks, Jake.” She kissed his cheek and stood up, walking towards her small library.  
For a moment, Jake watched her go. Then he shook his head quietly to himself, marveling at the fact that he found himself so...infatuated, so attracted to this woman. If she wanted a comprehensive list of sexy timez activities, he would give her that. It certainly couldn’t hurt.  
And so, Jake plugged his headphones in, turned on a new playlist (Gina had gotten him into Spotify, and he was kind of enamoured by it, even if it would never replace his mixtapes), and started to read the instructions in detail. It didn’t seem too difficult. Put an x in the right boxes, mark through the stuff that didn’t apply. Easy. He pulled out Amy’s list, and then immediately opened a incognito google tab on his phone’s internet browser. Jake considered himself pretty well-educated, but he did not have a prayer of understanding what “valprehend” meant and he did not want Gina stealing his phone and seeing it in his recent searches.  
The more he read, the more Jake felt his face and neck flush, felt his jeans grow tighter. He had always been an imaginative person, but he had never had it all spelled out quite so clearly in front of him. It was doing something to his brain, seeing his girlfriend’s desires, wishes, and needs displayed so frankly and honestly. It felt somehow vulnerable and incomprehensibly explicit. Jake’s mind was moving a thousand miles a minute, reading just how willing Amy would be to tie him to the bed, to take charge and…  
Jake shook his head almost violently, to clear his thoughts. He was never going to finish this if he let his imagination run wild. He put Amy’s lists aside and laid the blank ones in front of him, pulling out the black marker first. It was almost intimidating, how comprehensive these lists were, so Jake figured it was easiest to start by eliminating the things that did not apply to him. It made the list infinitesimally smaller, but it was a start. Then he went through and checked all the boxes that were definitely things he did not want, his face forming into a grimace at a couple, glad he had seen the same bold X in the Won’t box on Amy’s lists. He went through carefully after that, considering each option, trying not to think too much about it, shifting uncomfortably several times, tempted to take a break to relieve some of the pressure building in his pants. He imagined scratching, lightly, at the soft skin on Amy’s inner thighs, hard enough to mark but not hard enough to bleed, and wondered for a moment if she was thinking about this, too. Focus was nearly impossible to maintain, and Jake wondered if she was actually reading like she said she would, or if she was thinking of him, kissing his way up and down her rib cage the way he was.  
He was nearly finished, and almost breathless. He had only a few lines left empty, and gulped at one of them, near the end of the list about toys. The words “anal penetration” seemed to jump off the page at him, and Jake gulped. He knew how he felt about it, knew his answer. He’d known for years how much he enjoyed what Gina rather childishly referred to as “butt stuff.” A guy he’d dated in college had introduced him to the concept, and he’d hooked up with a few one night stands since then who had been accommodating enough. But he’d had more than a few who actually laughed at the suggestion, and the idea of Amy laughing at him about it made him feel like his stomach was going to drop through his shoes. He’d never even mentioned it to Sophia, preferring to just keep his secret in the back of his sock drawer, to himself. But then he thought of the butt plug, thought of it in Amy’s hands, her warm breath on his neck, her voice telling him how good he was, her eyes shining with lust, and he felt his gut tangle with a palpable need. Before he allowed himself to think too much about it, he checked all the requisite boxes, blew out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and stacked the papers back in the proper order. He paused the music, closing the app and pulling his headphones out, and stood up, feeling all his joints crack after so much non-movement.  
“Ames?” He called out to the darkening apartment, not sure where his girlfriend had ended up.  
“Yeah, hold on.” He heard her call from her library/office. She appeared quickly in the doorway, face a little too flushed to have just been reading. “You done?”  
He nodded, gesturing to the coffee table. “I guess we’re supposed to highlight the parts that match up now, right?”  
It was Amy’s turn to nod. “Uh, yeah. If you want, I can make a copy of yours, and we can highlight on the copies? I mean, if you want to keep the original for yourself?”  
Jake found himself nodding, not sure what he was going to do with the original, but it seemed like an important thing to keep. He handed her his list and she scampered to the small copy machine in her office. Shortly, she returned with the original paper clipped together and handed it back to him.  
“Did you, uh. Since I read your whole list through. You can read mine, if you want. You read pretty fast.” Jake offered, feeling a little bashful and painfully wear of his almost-painful erection.  
Amy shrugged. “I mean, we’re going through the whole list, so. It’ll be quicker if we just go over it.” Her eyes raked, rather obviously, over Jake’s entire body, and he felt the back of his neck flush.  
They sat down, and agreed to a highlighter code. They highlighted all their mutual “Won’ts” first, that was the easy one. As they went through the rest of the lists, Jake felt laughter bubbling up in his chest. It choked out, almost strangling him. Amy just raised her eyebrow, concern painting across her features.  
Jake shook his head. “It’s just...no wonder we’re so stupid good at this. Look at these lists.” He gestured to the lists. Their sexual compatibility was remarkable, staggering, and Jake wanted to just push the lists off the coffee table and undress Amy on it right away.  
After a beat, Amy started to giggle as well. “It is pretty crazy. We’re stupid compatible.” Suddenly, her face got serious again, and she leaned into him, her mouth mere centimeters from his ear. “And if you wanted me to take charge, you could’ve just asked, Jacob. I’ve been waiting for you to ask. I know you wanted to.”  
Jake gulped, his mouth dry, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. He rubbed his palms on his outstretched legs. “We...uh...we should…” His voice felt foreign in his head.  
Amy just smiled and leaned back. “You’re right. We should finish going through this.”  
Jake marvelled for a moment at his girlfriend. My dream girl, he thought to himself. Then, he followed Amy on the methodical assessment of what Jake had taken to calling their Sexy Timez Lists in his head.  
They got to the final list, and Amy pointed to the X’s in the “Want” boxes next to Plug and Anal Penetration. “Is this…” she started.  
“Not…” Jake stuttered for a moment. She turned to look at him. “Not for you.”  
Her eyebrow raised almost inperceputally. “Ah. Well, as I mentioned, I’ve never…”  
“No, I know. But, uh. I can show you?” He fidgeted with the hem of his flannel, hesitant to look Amy in the eye.  
“Works for me. We can order one online, if you want?” She was so calm, so nonchalant, and Jake felt like his veins were trying to fight their way out of his skin.  
“We, uh. I…” He stared at the floor between them.  
Amy grabbed her blushing boyfriend by the chin, her hands warm and gentle, encouraging him to look up at her. Her gaze was fierce and unrelenting, but so full of love and warmth that Jake immediately turned, adjusting so he was sitting with his legs crossed and he was facing her. He placed his hands loosely on her waist, aimlessly brushing his fingers against the tiny strip of skin where her t-shirt was riding up over her yoga pants.  
“Jake, sweetheart. What is it?” She asked, her voice soothing and low.  
“I already have one. It’s at my apartment. I’ve had it for a little while now. I just. I’ve been… well, I guess it’s not exactly a common thing or whatever, and I didn’t want to say anything, because I didn’t think I could take you laughing at me, too.”  
Amy felt herself bristle in indignation at the idea that anyone would make Jake feel ashamed of something like that. “God, people are the worst.” She hissed out. “Jake. I just want to make you feel good. I want both of us to feel good. And if that’s part of it for you, then yeah, let’s fucking do it.”  
He finally looked up, looked directly at Amy. Her eyes were glistening with a near-defiant excitement. “You really mean that?”  
She nodded, taking his hands in hers. “Of course, babe.”  
Jake felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Some girls said it was gay or whatever. I just didn’t know how’d you react.” He knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t stop himself. “And I mean, I was with a guy when I found out how much I liked it, so I was worried maybe it was never going to be a thing with a woman. I mean, some ladies are cool with it or whatever, but it’s always weird. Guys just expect it.”  
Amy’s eyebrow raised again. “Did you say…”  
Jake’s hand flew to his mouth and he gasped. He started to scramble back. “Oh my god, oh my god Amy I’m…”  
She grabbed his upper arm in her shockingly strong grip. “Jake. Take a deep breath. We’re good. You didn’t mean to tell me?”  
He nodded, struggling to catch his breath, searching her face for the signs of recoil, the disgust he anticipated to see masked amongst her features. He wasn’t seeing any of it.  
“Why not?”  
Jake shook his head. “You’re kidding, right?”  
At that, both of Amy’s eyebrows inched towards her hairline.  
“You seriously…” Jake took a deep breath. “Yeah, most girls aren’t super keen on finding out their boyfriend, or the guy they’re fucking, or whatever, also likes dudes. And you...you’re beautiful, smart, funny. You’re incredible. I just. I didn’t want to fuck it up.”  
“But, Jake. I’ve known you for years. You never mentioned.” Amy’s voiced was laced with concern.  
“Yeah, it, uh. It never came up, I guess.” He started to shrug. “No. That’s a lie. I could’ve told everyone a million times. I mean, Gina knows. Of course. She’s known since we were kids. But you try getting beat up in high school when the other kids find out you’re bi. You try having girls break up with you in college because they think you’re gross, or that you’re just gonna tell them you’re gay in a few months or whatever. Guys always assume you’re gonna cheat on them with a woman, or that you’re in the closet still, or whatever. I told Charles once when we were both pretty drunk, and swore him to secrecy. He just hugged me, cuz he’s Charles, and then started talking about weird foods.” He took another deep breath. “So yeah. I’m bi. The ‘butt stuff’ isn’t a gay thing, I’m not going to cheat on you, and I don’t want a threesome.” Jake looked up at Amy and gulped in another shaking breath. “And please. Please don’t tell anyone. I’m...I’m not ready for everyone to know.”  
Amy moved so she was practically sitting in Jake’s lap, her legs wrapped around his body, and held him tightly. She spoke into his shoulder. “Jake, sweetie. I would never tell anyone anything you told me in confidence. And I know you better than to think you’d cheat on me. I’m far too selfish to want a threesome, regardless.” She leaned back slightly. “And please, please understand. I am so sorry the world is such a shitty place, full of shitty people, but I like you. All of the things you are. I like that you always think out of the box, your uncanny ability to make everyone around you laugh, your Die Hard references, your seemingly infinite collection of plaid flannels, your obsession with orange soda, the way your hands feel when you’re holding me. Everything that is you, I like. I’ll just add bisexual to the list of things that you are, and keep on liking you.” The “I love you” felt heavy on Amy’s tongue, threatening to force its way through her teeth, but she bit it back. Not yet. Too soon.  
Jake felt tears threatening to fall from the corners of his eyes, and he forced out an uncomfortable laugh. “Noice.”  
Amy rolled her eyes and laughed. “You’re impossible, Jake Peralta.” She swatted his arm and shifted back to her spot on the floor. She turned to look back at the remaining items on the lists.  
Jake grabbed her hand. “Seriously, Ames. Thank you.”  
She kissed his cheek. “Let’s finish going through these lists, Peralta. I have some very important things I want to do tonight.” She winked at him.  
“Am I on that list, Miss Santiago?”  
“You better hurry up if you want to find out.”  
Jake’s eyes widened in excitement.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that everyone who asked for the alternate ending likes it! Leave comments! Let me know!


End file.
